im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
