he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I want her autograph on my taint
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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