Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
