marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Randomize
