Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
