just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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