Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
