i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize