I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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