So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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