i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
