You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
