Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
