I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
