Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
