Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
