Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm at about main and main street
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize