hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
