Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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