The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
