I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
