I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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