I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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