How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
