I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
