You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
