Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
