Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
