Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
