no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
