we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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