do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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