He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
