im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
