I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
