they need to just BURY HIM!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize