So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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