Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
