Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
