thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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