If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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