Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
