I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
