Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
