Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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