Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
there was a trapeze. enough said
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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