Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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