dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize