stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
