Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
