I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you told grandpa to call you daddy
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
