all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
