How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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