im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
