People with herpes should wear stickers.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
