Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
