Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
