he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
