Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
