I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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