Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
